Over the past few months, many have said I had faith and courage to sell my belongings and go to Austin, Texas. Well, I got here on Tuesday and allowed the gnawing in my stomach to breed questions in my mind.
Do we have to feel that we have faith before we act?
And if we don’t feel faith, can we still act?
Can we feel faith?
How does faith work in an unknown landscape?
Well, I started where I always like to start, with a definition – a habit I took up in fifth grade when I got a really cool dictionary that had pictures in it as a present and started reading it like a book!
The definition of faith at www.visualthesaurus.com is “strong belief in supernatural power or powers that control human destiny” and feel means “an intuitive awareness”.
Do these overlap, intersect or even meet? Are both required before we step out in action?
The journey to Texas did start in faith, a belief so strong that God was leading me to my destiny (and destination). I believe that whenever you get a call to action from God, He provides the means to implement the action. So, yes, the journey to Austin started with a deep belief in the supernatural that was like walking on firm ground as opposed to feeling faith. This birthed a feeling of joy and excitement and adventure that I began to identify as a necessary ingredient to faith.
So, feeling, or feeling faith – as I contemplated the definition of feel, I remembered my experiences as a mom when I used my intuition as a lie-o-meter. The lie-o-meter was made up of input from my eyes and ears by observing body language, tone of voice, and ability of my children to maintain eye contact in order to determine the truth.
However, I recalled other times I got a revelation of the situation and knew what took place. The first is natural, the second supernatural.
Over the course of the journey as I finished implementing the supernaturally downloaded exit strategy to ensure a smooth transition, sold my worldly goods, packed the car, and said goodbye to friends and family, I began to shift my reliance from belief/faith in the face of an unknown situation to “conjuring up faith” by relying on my own natural abilities using feeling as an indicator.
Whoops! No wonder I began to believe the voice of doubt in my own head. No, I do not have to feel to have faith before I act! Feelings actually stopped my action, and began the cycle of self-defeating talk in my own mind and an ever increasing gnawing in my belly.
I realized this as I was writing to you tonight – so, what to do? Do what has broken through more barriers and impossible situations than anything else in my life! Accept I am human, not perfect, and forgive myself for the natural tendency to rely on sight (natural senses and feelings) instead of faith.
In that very moment, I was at peace in my mind and heart, leaving no room for doubt and turmoil. I was able to enter again into the simple belief that a"call to action" from God makes its own way.
See you tomorrow!