What happens when we live out other people’s opinions and expectations in our lives? The obvious is that we lose touch with who we are. The not so obvious is we believe that we do not count, we have no value or self worth, we have nothing to offer that others want – a life without hope, joy, or peace. I am here to tell you that is a lie! There is not one person I have ever known that does not have something unique to give – even if it is hidden under anger, depression, rage, manipulation, etc., caused by pain and hurt whose default mechanism is to ensure safety.
Now I am not a doctor or an expert in the workings of the mind, but I have explored some of the recesses of my heart. Here is what I do know – taking your focus off the past can
- allow you to see the present,
- make room for dreams of the future,
- radically restore our lives, and
- put you back in the picture!
When we take off the “victim of circumstances” lenses that caused us to continually repeat the past in our present, what do we have? Good question! I took them off and started on a journey of who I am, what motivates me – at the heart level.
In that journey, I learned to forgive those who hurt me, learned the key to having joy in my life is being grateful in ALL things, but I was missing something – I was still not in my dreams – I saw others receive the desires of my heart, I saw others find loving and honorable mates, others increase their income, others get recognition and love…always others.
What was missing? What had I missed in my search? I had not added me to my life, not added me to my dreams, not added me to the possibilities that stirred my heart. Why? I still operated under the belief that I had no value, others had more value and I would get my value by what I gave others.
Am I saying there's anything wrong with giving, serving, or being generous? Absolutely not! That in and of itself was not the issue; the issue was, where was I in the picture? The dream of marrying the man of my dreams – I was not there; the vision of owning a successful business so I can give to orphans – I was not there; building an orphanage – I was not there.
What are the dreams you left yourself out of? How does that feel? Hopeless, why me, why everyone else – it leads right back to victim.
Today I choose not to be a victim; today I choose to add me to my life as I strip off what others expected. Are you in? or are you out? I would love to hear from you, join me on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/#!/joy.randall1) and let me know where you are on this walk.
P.S. We do not get there alone. Some of those who believed in me as I began the journey from the chains of “victimhood” to a life filled with hope, joy, and love:
- Dani and Hans Johnson, especially the live event First Steps to Success (http://www.danijohnson.com),
- Drs. Jack and LaVonne Atnip (http://tecinc.net), and
- PJ McClure (http://www.themindsetmaven.com )
Mother of two amazing adults, business owner, cook, and writer are only a few of the countless hats Joy Randall wears each day. She is an overcomer and achiever who “walks the walk”. Joy has brought joy the lives of many with her smile, words of encouragement, writing, and belief in them when they have had none of their own.
